Body Positivity: My inner voice was always my biggest critic
People often ask me to define body positivity: for me, it means recognising that my body is good, no matter what it looks like. I think it’s important to stress that it’s about appreciating your body and not about your appearance. It’s about resisting mainstream beauty standards because every body is unique – there’s no such thing as a good or a bad body. There are as many sides to body positivity as there are different bodies.
20 November 2018 • 7 min reading time
A guest column by Melodie Michelberger / Photos by Corinna Keiser
A few years ago, I was suffering from burnout, and it caused me to take a closer look at how I thought about and treated my body. I noticed that this feeling of inadequacy stemming from my body, this feeling of not being thin enough and therefore not being good enough, has been with me almost my whole life. I went on my first diet at the age of 12, and in the years after that, up until my early 30s, I yo-yoed back and forth between a size 34 and a size 44. I never felt like I had achieved my goal. I was in an endless cycle of trying to shrink or fix my body – but my body never needed fixing. At some point, not too long ago, I thought to myself: why am I basing my well-being on my body fat percentage? And why am I allowing my entire existence to be ruled by a standard of beauty that others have set for me? How boring would the world be if we all wore the same size? These thoughts truly changed my life – up to this point, I had been totally convinced that losing weight and achieving a so-called ‘perfect figure’ would cure my self-doubt.
Now I know that my well-being has nothing to do with any kind of standard or the size of my body, and I have learned to define my own worth, rather than allowing others to do it for me. I will admit, the path to self-acceptance is not easy.
"The flannel sleepshirt is almost too pretty to wear to bed! The material is incredibly soft and I can already imagine how nice it will be to spend my Sundays in one."
My inner voice was always my biggest critic. She was constantly criticising everything, reminding me of my supposed flaws, and telling me that I’m too fat, and therefore I’m not good enough. I was unable to stand in front of the mirror and love the woman staring back at me – I hated every inch of myself. But, over time, I learned to train my inner voice. At the beginning, it helped me to ask myself the following questions over and over again, and I still do this today: ‘What do I love about myself?’ I say the answer to myself in my head or even sometimes out loud, something like: ‘My courage, my independence, my sense of humour, my creativity.’ The other question is: ‘What does my body do for me? What about my body am I thankful for?’ The answer, for example, is that I’m thankful for my strong legs that get me around Hamburg every day, or for my ability not to worry about things that I can’t change. The point of these exercises is to shift the focus towards all the things our bodies do for us every second of every day, and away from what they look like. I know that it’s not easy. And it’s not something that happens all at once. There will be good days and bad days. But once you make friends with your inner voice, it gets easier. Don’t get discouraged, and give other people compliments every now and then – it’s a good exercise for giving yourself a compliment once in a while. Preferably one that isn’t just about what’s on the outside. Instead of saying ‘I love your haircut!’ why not say ‘That was a great idea!’ instead?
"I discovered CALIDA a few years ago when I was looking for simple bras without underwires or any sorts of bells and whistles. There’s nothing worse than restrictive underwear! That’s why CALIDA bustiers are perfect for me – I can just slip them on and go. Nothing digging in, slipping down or restricting my movement in any way."
"Alongside the functionality and comfort, I love the bold, vibrant colours – ‘spicy’ looks amazing with my skin tone! Sustainability and fair manufacturing conditions are really important to me, which is why I think it’s so great that the CALIDA collection is certified with the OEKO-TEX® label."
With her positive outlook and a generous helping of girl power, Melodie Michelberger has taken Instagram by storm. The superwoman from Hamburg is a PR whizz, fashion lover, founder of the platform TRUST THE GIRLS and, on top of it all, a mum! For many people, Melodie, whose real name is Melanie-Jasmin Jeske, has become the face of the body positivity movement. It’s no wonder, then, that she has even caught the eye of the editors of Vogue. With her open and encouraging nature, she advocates for more self-love and support for one another, both online and offline. Her motto: criticise less, shine more!
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